Thoughts on a Final Moment
by BlackRoseButterflies
Summary: What could Carl of been thinking when he had to pull the trigger himself? (Screw summaries, I hate this part.)


**A/N: Warning this may contain spoilers! Written from Carl's point of view. The beginning kind of sucks (really, I think all of it does, but the beginning is terrible), but it's because I wasn't sure exactly where to start with it or how to word it. You don't like? Well, that's what reviews are for, dear. **

**Also, I know the dialogue and what not may be different than it's supposed to be. Blame that on my bad memory and lack of effort to look it up. **

**Anyway, know what you're getting yourself into. (You should be able to tell.) **

As soon as that bell went of, calling all walkers in the area to us, I had a really bad sinking feeling in m chest. It wasn't just that we were all in trouble. I felt like something completely terrible would happen. So terrible that everything from then on would change.

But nothing could have prepared me for this.

I killed as many walkers as I could, creating a path as Maggie helped Mom walk behind me. We were separated from Dad and the rest of the group.

There were so many of them and Mom was already in pretty bad shape. We needed to find a safe place soon.

We spotted a door and quickly went inside. The door wouldn't close all the way, but I assumed it would be fine as long as we weren't too loud. Too late now, anyway. Maggie took Mom to the back of the room. She looked like she was in so much pain. I quietly stood off to the side and out of their way as they talked, both looking very panicked.

I didn't completely understand what they were talking about. I knew Mom was pregnant, but... Could Maggie really do it? "I'll go get Hershel." I offered, heading for the door.

"No, you can't...! It's too dangerous...!" Mom stopped me.

She was now laying on the ground, panting, with her legs spread open. Maggie got down in front of her and took in a deep breath,

"These are in the way." She said, undoing my Mother's pants and pulling them off. I felt so awkward. Wasn't sure if I should look away or not. But this was my mother and she needed my help. "I don't even think you're dilated." Maggie stated.

"I-I gotta push." Mom murmured. She forced herself to stand with the help of Maggie. She leaned forward, using the wall for support. Maggie also helped support her as good as she could.

Then it was like my mind went blank. I didn't what to do or what to think. The noises she was making were so loud, I was surprised she didn't alert the walkers that may have been just outside that cracked door.

I guess whatever it was they were doing wasn't working. They had Mom lay back down in the position they were in before. After a moment Mom said," Okay, Maggie, you know what you need to do. You need to get this baby out, no matter what it takes."

"Wha-what?!" Maggie exclaimed,"But I don't have the tools or the experience to! Dad only told me of the steps! There's no way I can-"

"Maggie, listen to me." Mom interrupted, her voice was a bit more clam but still stressed. "You can do this, I trust you to. Here, look." She pulled her shirt over her enlarged stomach, revealing a rather large scar going across. "My sea section scars. I know how this goes and what I'm getting into. Carl has a knife. I need you to take it and cut me open and get this baby out. I don't care what happens to me as long as my baby is safe."

Maggie and I glanced at each other. It was obvious that she didn't want to do this. I didn't want her to do this. We looked back at Mom and I knelt down by her side. She looked up at me with a serious face but tears forming in her eyes.

"Okay, Carl." She said, "I need you to give Maggie your knife." I shook my head no. "Carl. Please. I need you to do this. I'm not going to lie, I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but it'll be fine. Everything is going to be all right. We're going to have this baby..." She took a pause to catch her breath. Then continued, "Now... Once this is over... I need you to be a strong boy and I need you to take care of the baby and your father..." Her voice cracked and tears escaped onto her cheeks. "I love you. I love you so much, thank you. Carl, I love you, always remember that."

Tears were now streaming down my face as she spoke. She almost made it sound like she was going to die! No, she wouldn't allow that, would she? She had to live, she just had to!

Against my own thoughts I reluctantly took out the blade and handed it to a shaking Maggie. She probably knew this wouldn't end well, either. Hesitantly she held the blade against my Mother's skin, afraid to press in.

"Maggie, you have to do it." Mom tried to assure," I need you to, the baby needs you to do this..." With a gulp Maggie nodded. Quietly Mom said, "I'm... Sorry."

Scrunching her face, Maggie pushed in and pulled the blade across my Mother's stomach, cutting her open. She jerked and screamed out in pain. I took her hand and continued to tell myself that she would be okay.

Her face twisted and turned in ways I didn't think were possible. I couldn't watch whatever Maggie was doing and I definitely didn't want to. Just the slight sound I could hear that were coming from that direction were enough.

Mom was starting to calm down. Gave me a small ray of hope that she would really be okay.

But then she stopped breathing.

Her head went limp and her eyes fluttered closed.

"M-mom?" I said, scared. "Mom?!" I shook her slightly, but she showed no response.

Then there was crying.

The baby.

I slowly turned my head as Maggie cut the baby free. Quickly I took off my jacket I was wearing and handed it to her to wrap the baby in.

Without looking back she got up and started heading for the door.

"Wait!" I stopped her, standing up. Think... "She'll turn..." I reminded.

She shook her head. "Just leave her. We've done all we need to, so come one." She sounded sympathetic, but I don't think she really understood.

"I'll do it." I said, taking out my pistol, "I won't let her become one of them."

Maggie looked at me for a moment, concern filling her gaze. She pressed her lips to together and closed her eyes. "All right." She turned around, pulling the baby closer to her chest, peeking out the door.

I turned back to Mom. Her lifeless body lay in a mess, blood still gushing from the gash on her stomach. Her hand was open from me holding it.

Take a breath. In. Out. I had to do this. Through all my efforts, I could not stop myself from crying. I checked back over my shoulder. Maggie had left already. Good. Now I could allow myself to fall apart.

I collapsed onto my knees, leaning over my Mother's head, kissing her cheeks and forehead. -Why?- I thought, -Why did this happen? Why couldn't she just wait a little longer?-

After a moment of mourning, I stood back up and wiped my tears away. Taking a long deep breath, I held out my gun and pointed it at her head. My hands shook uncontrollably. I grasped the trigger with two hands and held it steady. Closing my eyes I tightened my grip.

And pulled the trigger.

**-A/N: Okay, I would seriously like to know how you feel about this one. I feel like it really sucks, but I... I don't know... I was debating whether to continue to where this episode ends, but... I thought this was a good ending... **

**Anyway, please. Leave your opinion, whatever it may be, in a review! Maybe give some pointers on what I could to to get better at this type of thing. I'll take anything at this point. **

**X3 ~**


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